Trying to Make Sense of it.

Well, I have been trying for two days to post photos of our little ranch getaway, but my this blog is not wanting to cooperate in allowing me to post the photo files. Hopefully, by the end of today, I am able to give you some more glimpses from the ranch.

I started out the day with some stark news from my hometown. My little town has been through its share of tragedy in the last few years, including the suicide of a top high-school athlete, the murder of a sweet hometown girl at the hands of her husband, another murder of a college-girl with roots in our town, and several other shocking deaths. In a small town like this, a tragedy really rocks the town. Everyone knows everyone, and these losses really have struck deeply to the core. This most recent tragedy was another death due to suicide--this young man, Jason, was a friend, a distant relation (second cousins, I think) and someone who I spent quite a bit of time with in my younger days. His parents and my parents were very good friends, and his mom babysat my sister and I for a while as we were growing up and my mom was working. We spent many summer days playing and just being kids. I haven't seen him for several years now, but he was 35 years old. He and his wife had 4 young children, and he also has an older daughter. Jason was someone who loved Christ and was very involved in his church. And he is dead. From suicide.

Suicide. I have studied the effects of suicide. I lecture about suicide to my students. I have done all the reading and the studying and the investigation of this topic academically speaking. But never has suicide been so close to home than in the last year. It is one of those things that you can never fully wrap your mind around. And when it strikes close to home, it is one of the most confusing things that can happen. What goes through the mind of someone contemplating suicide? What drives someone to this type of hopelessness? I have come to the conclusion that THERE IS NO GOOD EXPLANATION FOR SUICIDE. And that's what makes it so painful and confusing. In the world that we live in, the devil is active and, as the Bible says, we know that he desires very deeply to stalk and devour us. And suicide is so painful, for one reason, because not only is a precious life lost, but the loss seems so preventable and so meaningless. So many questions are left in the lives of those left behind by a person who takes their own life. So much blame. So much anger. So many "what if I had just seen it's" and "if only I had......" And the ripple effect is so powerful.....suicide really touches the core of every human because it shows what desperation and emptiness can cause. And people wrestle with the questions of the fine line between life and death. And I would posit that when someone we know commits suicide, somewhere in the deepest core of our being, we may even fear and ask whether we ourselves could ever be driven to such hopelessness and despair. At a deep level, suicide is humanity facing its own self-inflicted destruction. To me, it's really a picture of how we as humans, if left on our own without the hope of a Savior, will ultimately turn on ourselves and bring about our own demise.

There is no good answer to suicide. Except, that is, Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can take something like the tragedy of suicide and somehow take the fragments and brokenness and questions and pain and turn them into His glory. How He can do this is supernatural. Its counterintuitive. It is miraculous. I am praying for this beloved family. For these children who will have a long, confusing road ahead of them. For this Mommy who will need God's strength and peace and providence as she never has before. For these parents, who I care deeply about, as they bury their own son and try to go on with so many questions and regrets.

What can we do? Educate yourself about suicide. PRAY for people affected directly by suicide. And have your eyes open to those around you. If you know of someone who has been depressed, who has been going through a lot of stressors, or who just doesn't seem like themselves, take that step to bring it up with that person. Directly ask the hard questions. It can be a difficult step. But sometimes just acknowledging a person's struggle, praying with and for that person, and being aware can make a life-and-death difference. And realize, that if someone chooses to take his or her own life, noone is to blame. Likely, no one could have prevented it. Suicide is ultimately a personal decision, one that comes because of the effects of sin on this fallen world, because of the distortion of the enemy. Ultimately, the best way to battle suicide is to share and live out daily the hope of Christ and what a personal relationship with Jesus can do in each and every person's life. Yes, even Christians can be hit with suicidal thoughts, ideation, and even attempts. We need to be honest about this, be willing to talk about it, and use it as a stepping stone to recognize even more authentically that apart from Christ, we are utterly hopeless. He alone is our only HOPE in seemingly hopeless circumstances.

Back from the Ranch....

Howdy! What a time we had at the JJ Ranch....our two days was packed with family time, water-filled activity, horses, and a little return to yesteryear. More details later, for we are all tired and ready for a little down time right now. It's funny how we often need a vacation to recuperate from a vacation! For now, here is one photo of our little family in front of cabin #24, where was spent our time...though we were not in the cabin much. Enjoy......more details and photos to come. Until then......Happy Trails!

Nice Visit.

We had a nice visit with my brother and sister-in-law tonight, sharing a Mexican taco/nacho buffet together. Funny, we live only 10 or so miles apart, but we rarely take the time to get together. We sat around the dinner table for nearly 2 hours, enjoying our meal together followed by a yummy dessert, some fun Play-Dough play, and some nice conversation. We are very excited that Mitch and Meegan are expected their first baby in June, a little girl. Kennedy and Hayden are thrilled to have another cousin, their first on my side of the family, and Kennedy is especially excited that it is a little girl. They got a good glimpse of what family life with kids is all about tonight, and I'm not sure if their smiles indicated that they were looking forward to a little of this energy in their own home, or if they are petrified! Nevertheless, we are eagerly awaiting June and can't wait to meet this precious little baby girl.

We leave tomorrow for our Family Adventure. My husband guessed where we are going correctly: We are headed to the JJ Ranch to enjoy their indoor waterpark, horseback riding, and tubing hill for two days. We will be staying in our own family log cabin and just having some time of pure fun and relaxation. Many photos and reports of fun times to follow......

Play-Dough Joy.

This afternoon was all about play-dough in our house. Who doesn't love the play-dough experience? For me, everything from the tactile experience of the dough to the smell when the container is first opened to all the fun tools used to shape the dough into limitless scenes, objects and creatures is pure joy. It reminds me of my childhood, of simple joys, of a world that is only limited by the bounds of my imagination. My kids also love playing with play-dough. Hayden's favorite part of play-dough is rolling out the dough with a rolling pin and making "cookies" of all different shapes and sizes. He also likes me to make all different animals and creatures, which has truly tested my scultping abilities......he has asked me to make everything from an alligator to a tiger to a dinosaur to a beetle. And, belive me, if it doesn't look just like he thinks it should look, it is back to the play-dough drawing board for Mommy. It has also been a great way to reinforce his letters and to help him begin to learn to spell his name. I bought a cheap set of letter cookie cutters, and they have really been a wonderful learning investment. So far, he can write "H-A" so by the end of the summer when he is ready to enter his four-year-old preschool class, he should know to write and recognize his name. Kids love to learn when the learning is hands-on, fun, and full of active experience. Kennedy loves play-dough, too, and can often be found making play-dough meals or fantasy creatures or full families of puppies, ducks, or other animals. Adults and children, together, tend to love playdough because of its ambiguity, the control to make anything one wants, and the fact that "mistakes" can be easily re-created into something else. I often find myself joining in on the fun to roll snakes, cut out the letters to my name, create nameless creatures, or just enjoy the malliability of the dough in my hands.

And, for all you moms out there, don't deprive yourself of the joy of letting your kids play with play-dough. Yes, it can be messy. Yes, it can dry out quickly. Yes, if you were to come over to my house right now, there would be bits of play-dough in between the floor boards of my wood floor and probably in the cracks of my wood table, too. But.....it is one of those simple joys that does so much to support positive, healthy development and it is well worth the mess. And, one of my joys as a mom is seeing my kids so happy to open up a can of play-dough and seeing them enter this creative, colorful world. For $1.49 for three cans of fresh play-dough, I think it is a very worthwhile investment.....or you can always go the route of making your own, which is not my personal preference....some even make theirs out of peanut butter and proclaim that it is edible....For just a couple of dollars and that industrial dough smell, I will gladly bypass the homemade for that whiff of nostalgia. Regardless of your preferred type of dough, take it from your resident blogging psychologist.......let the joy of playdough into the lives of your kids......and yourself!

Spring Break.

Today is the official start to my university's spring break. Now, I wish that I could say that this photo is my handsome husband and I in a swanky resort in the Mexican Riveria enjoying sun, surf, snorkeling, shopping, and......well, lots of other "s" words that may not be totally appropriate topics for a family-oriented blog! :) But the reality is, this photo was actually take a couple of year's ago at my brother's wedding near Cancun. This year, spring break for us this year simply means a week at home without going to work.....and it really is OK with me. It is a change from routine, the freedom to play with play-dough a little more and spend more time during the day cuddling under a blanket with my kiddos and maybe spending a little more time just being quiet and creative...just being. Yes, the sun and water and culture would be great medicine for my soul right now in the middle of a busy semester.....but so is some extra time with my family.

I am, however, planning a little "Family Adventure" for later in the week....a two-day family getaway for some rest and fun. The really fun part about planning this trip has been...that I am the only one who knows where we are going and what we are doing. So far, I have been giving my daughter daily hints to see if she can figure it out, though this is a place that we have not been before. So far, I have given the following hints:

1) It involves animals.

2) It is NOT a zoo.

3) My daughter' kindergarten teacher has been there before.

4) It is in Michigan.

Saturday Slumber.

Well, my Saturday was all about rest and recuperation. I am still feeling quite dragged down by this bug, so I didn't go with my family to my in-laws but instead opted to stay home and try to sleep this thing off once and for all. So my Saturday included.......

Sleeping in until 9:00 AM.
Watching several episodes of "Clean Sweep" on TV--got me in the mood for a garage sale.
Running to the scrapbook store for some supplies--ran out of adhesive refills.
Enjoyed a cup of creamy chai tea from Beaners....so good on my raw throat.
Mounted my new Stampin' Up stamps....love them!
Lunch at my new favorite Mexican restaurant....chimichanga with fresh guacamole....yummy!
Another nap--fell asleep watching some freaky Lifetime move.
Paid a few bills. Talked to my sister on the phone. Finalized a few plans for my trip to NYC.
Shoveled a bit of the driveway. We got lots of snow yesterday. Decided that my husband can finish when he gets home tomorrow.
Ordered new bathing suits for our Family Adventure trip next week.
Straightened my craft room table. Thought about scrapping, but decided on another nap.
Sesame shrimp and rice for dinner.
Settling down to a movie. This is one entitled "Mozart and the Whale" which is about two people with Asperger's Syndrome falling in love....looking foward to finishing it.
Happy Winter's Saturday, my Friends.

Fancy Nancy and March's Lion.

There was some extra "gussying up" this morning in our household, as you can see from the photo. Today at my daughter's school was "Dress as your favorite character from a book" day, so with only a day's notice to make a costume, we went with this look. One of my daughter's favorite books is entitled "Fancy Nancy", whose main character is a little girl who likes all things fancy, like feather plumes and pink and sparkly crowns and jewels. This little girl encourages her family to see the "fancy" side of life....just a really fun book about letting the joy of fun, and dress-up, and fancy into your life. Kennedy loves this book, and we read it at bedtime several nights per week...she can pretty much read it all by herself now. So, today, Kennedy donned her pink dress-up skirt, pink feather boa, sparkly dress-up jewels, and her princess crown and went to kindergarten as Fancy Nancy. It always amazes me that while Kennedy is all about things like digging for worms in the dirt and diving for frogs into ponds, she also loves dress-up and princesses and tiaras and all things sparkly and flowery. This morning, as Fancy Nancy, she looked so precious and was so excited to share her look and her favorite book with her friends and teacher. I am so touched by her love of books and reading and imagination. Hopefully, we can all learn a lesson from Fancy Nancy and let a "little bit of fancy" into our lives.

Today in Michigan is right down nasty....in my 30-minute drive from home to the university, I encountered very icy roads, rain, sleet, snow, freezing rain and, to top it all off, thunder and lightening. It was very bizarre and made for a very wet and sloppy mess around here. After trekking between meetings and classes and getting my feet soaked numerous times, I was just ready to get home, get back into my cozy PJ pants and sweatshirt, and call it a day. March in Michigan has certainly bared its lions' teeth, so hopefully that means nicer weather in the coming weeks, or so the saying goes. As of today, I am officially on spring break, so I am definitely ready for a break and thinking toward warmer, sunnier days and the flowers, outdoor fun, and other joys that come along with spring.